Number: 77

Tagline: Ridin' low since 1984

On a hot summer night in southern New Mexico, a 1978 Chevy El Camino sat parked on a steep hill that overlooked the dusty town of Orogrande. Most teenagers knew the spot simply as Lover’s Lane, but for Billybob Sacamano and Maria-Consuela Sanchez it was special—magical, even. The moon shined brightly overhead, as Marvin Gaye sang softly on the radio, and the back seat bounced with amorous conviction. And nine months later a baby girl was born—Low Ridin’ Lolita.

Over the next 15 years Lolita spent a lot of time in the El Camino. She and her parents—whom she affectionately referred to as BB and MC—traveled the country together, living out of the car, working as performers to pay their way. BB was a knife expert and dazzled truck-stop crowds with his masterful demonstrations, while MC wowed audiences with her provocative motor-oil paintings. But the biggest attraction of all was Lolita and her death-defying roller skating stunts.

As the family traversed the country, attempting to visit every Waffle House in the nation, they made many friends and ate many waffles. Although Lolita never received any formal education, she was tutored by her mother. She learned about history, geography, math, and science, but her most important lessons were the ones about roller derby.

One day, while BB was gassing up the El Camino, Lolita went inside to buy a copy of the Weekly World News, but when she came back out, the car and her parents were gone. A note taped to the window-washing-fluid bucket, read simply “It’s time to find your own way—ride low Lolita.” With a tear in her eye, she threw down her Weekly World News and skated off toward the horizon.

In a cosmic twist of fate Lolita’s skates brought her to Columbus, Ohio, where she fulfilled her destiny as an Ohio Roller Girl and member of the Sprockettes. She’s classy like Nancy Kerrigan but knows how to get dirty like Tonya, and she always—rides low.